Wow, the last few weeks have been crazy busy. I can't believe it's already June. The first half of the year has just flown by!

We've been doing a half dozen things all at once. My dad is coming up to visit next week, so I've been working on finally getting his outfit for the Twig Renaissance Faire finished. I have his shirt, his vest, and his boots done. I'll just have to find him a pair of pants ... black sweat pants would probably be the most comfortable. We've also been working on getting our gardens finished. I have the garden beside the sidewalk and we have our vegetable garden finished. I have almost all of the butterfly garden in front finished too (yay!). Plus we bought some new appliances for the kitchen. Our dishwasher has been going ever since we moved in. It doesn't clean well and it smells like burning wires when it's going through the dry cycle. Now we have a pretty nice, middle of the road Bosch dishwasher that's an energy saver and it's quieter than our old one. They delivered it today and Steffie is working on installing it now. We'll be picking up our new refrigerator next week (finally a fridge that actually has some room!). We got a really good deal on both too, so that's cool.

Rae, Steffie, and I went to see Phantom of the Opera the weekend before Steffie's birthday. It was a pretty good consensus that we were all three very happy with the show if not totally impressed by the way the person who played the Phantom portrayed the character. I've always seen the Phantom as an obsessive, possessive, very dominant character. He's talented and charismatic and alluring despite his deformity. That's not how the actor played him. He came off as Steffie said, very gollum-ish. He was a pitiful character. I actually ended up almost sorta routing for Raoul, which I never ever do. It was odd. Although, aside from the portrayal of the Phantom, I was super impressed with everyone and everything else. I loved Carlotta and the theater managers. The ballet mistress was fantastic. And the sets were just amazing, and they blended so well with the Orpheum Theater too. It was very realistic and looked like it all belonged there.

Steffie and I went to Jenna and Jared's house for supper last Friday night, and we both had a really good time. It was nice to visit with them both. I finally got to meet Elizabeth too (she's adorable), and I got to see my friend Kim again who I hadn't seen in a long time. It was really nice to get out of the house for a friendly, low-key visit with friends who we don't get to see that often. Very enjoyable for both of us. I'm hoping we can all get together more often at their place and ours for play dates, possibly some DnD gaming nights, and just hanging out. It would be a lot of fun to do on a more regular basis.

We're also both excited about going out of state to Sioux Falls tomorrow for the Renaissance Faire there this weekend. Steffie has a bunch of bottles to sell this year again. She made more colors this year, and I think they are all really pretty. Black, dark blue, pink, and brown for the fairy bottles. Hopefully they will sell well. And then we'll have next week to work on getting my new belt and skirt hikes made before Twig.

I'm just sitting here after work taking a moment to just relax and slow down after a hectic day at work and I was thinking that I want to make a new years post. Not just of what I want to happen in the next year but also of all the things that have happened in the past year and all that I'm thankful for.

1. I'm thankful for my friends, my tribe, my self-made family. They've helped to make the last year amazing for me. You're supported me when I've had rough times, which have been plenty, prodded me to take action when I was too blind and nervous to take the first steps myself, and have been part of one of the best years of my life. *hugs to each and every one of you*

2. I'm thankful for Steffie and her place in my life and my place in hers. She's one of the most amazingly generous, loving, and caring people I ever met. She's allowed me and encouraged me to explore more places within myself than I ever have before. I feel comfortable being me around her without feeling self conscious that she'll judge me or think less of me for it. She laughs with me (and at me sometimes). She makes me smile everyday and look forward to every day after. Thank you so very much for a spectactular year.

3. I'm thankful for my family and their willingness to let me live my life the way that makes me happy. I wasn't sure how they were going to respond to me having a girlfriend or to us living together, but they handled everything remarkably well. They had two choices. They could either learn to tolerate my choices or they could learn to live without me in their lives. Luckily for me they didn't seem to choose either of those. Somewhere they found a place where they could be accepting and happy of me and mine and Steffie's relationship. They've seen me through some tough relationships that haven't ended well at all for me. Perhaps they see that I'm happy and have decided to be happy for me. I hope that's the case. Either way , I'm thankful that they made my Christmas holiday pleasant and relatively peaceful this year. In the same vane, I'm thankful for Steffie's family as well. They make me feel supremly welcome in their home and their lives. I don't feel like I'm a guest so much as becoming part of the family too. Eventually I will learn all of their names and become a more challenging Risk player.

4. I'm thankful that I have steady job that is not only working full time but offering overtime when so many are on short time or out of work altogether. Im thankful that Steffie was able to find a job this past month with Wells Fargo, which kept her in the mortgage industry and will hopefully open doors for future promotion within the company. I'm thankful for a roof over our heads that is paid for and no snooping, annoying landlord to deal with on a daily basis.


And to a few things that I'd like to accomplish this year ...

1. I'd like to lose weight. I've never felt terribly bad health wise before, but I'm starting to experience some things that I think losing weight will definitely help relieve. And I want to be able to wear cute clothes and dress the way I want without having to spend a fortune or get things custom made. Is it so bad to want to be able to just buy things off the rack in a regular store? I don't expect to be a size 4 by the end of the year. It would be unhealthy and well, icky. By this time next year, I'd like to fit back into my 16 clothes. It would be an absolute treat to fit into my 14s, but I'd be happy with my 16s. That isn't a too out there goal to set.

2. I'd like to get some bills paid off or at least substantially paid down so that I have hopes of trading in my truck for something newer and more gas efficient this fall. If that means more overtime, super budgeting, whatever I have to do. I don't think my poor truck is gonna make it through another year.

3. I want to try one new thing every month. I don't care what it is. It can be a new food, going to a new place in the city, a new sexual/kinky experience, write a new poem, read a new book, meet a new person, volunteer for something. I just want to keep learning and trying new things as much as I can.

4. I want to get my Daddy up to Minnesota to visit for at least one weekend during the fest season this year. It means he will to grow his beard back. We can't have a Gimli without a beard, after all, but I think he will love it.

5. I want to build a better, less stressed relationship with my mother. I love her dearly, and I would do almost anything for her, but we havent had the best relationship. I have to stop letting her push buttons that set off my temper, and I have to stop reacting to them when she pushes said buttons anyway. I wish we could have a regular, adult relationship without all the beating down and negativity and general tenseness that seems to ruin even wthe best of conversations. I don't get to see her often. When I do, I don't want our visits to end in a fight with one or both us leaving hurt and angry. I honestly just want her to be happy with herself and be happy with me as a daughter.

6. I want 2009 to be as good or better than 2008 for myself and Steffie and all of our friends and family.

The Tuesday before Christmas Steffie and I flew to Atlanta and then drove over to Alabama to spend Christmas with my family. We only stayed a few days, but it was a nice trip. (Honestly it was probably a nice trip because we only stayed a few days). I was super happy that Steffie was able to come home with me. We were worried that she wouldn't get to just starting out with her new job, but she did.

We went out to my grandmother's house for Christmas Eve where we had LOTS of food, more food, and did I mention food? Steffie got / had to go to go through meeting my whole family while we were there. It's a lot of people to meet all at once. There were fifteen there at Grandmother's plus we went by to visit my dad's brother as well. All the family seemed to like Steffie. My aunts cornered me in the Kitchen while I was fixing Steffie a dessert plate and told me that they liked her, that she was a sweet girl, and that I should bring her back.

On Friday after Christmas I went and got a new tattoo from my tattoo artist Turtle. It was so cool to see him again and he was super excited about doing the tattoo I wanted. People came in and took a peek of it as he was doing it. Steffie got to watch, which made me happy since I didn't get to watch her get her tattoo last Christmas. We're hoping to get Steffie another one from Turtle the next time we're down to visit my family. More photos of the tattoo when it gets all healed and pretty.

Steffie smuggled a GIANT salt cured ham home with us when we came home on the Saturday after Christmas. It took up all the room in her carryon bag. She was so cute being all happy about bringing home a salty ham.

All said, I enjoyed Christmas. It was a nice change from the normal round of screaming and bitching at eachother that normally goes on. I was very happy that it was a remarkly peaceful holiday, and most of all I was very happy to be able to spend the holiday with Steffie this year along with all my family back home and have them glad for me that I've found someone I can be happy with.

I've been meaning to make a couple entries for a while but with the couple different christmas get togethers and travel preparations and going home to Alabama and everything else I haven't had time. So, I'll catch up now.

Tribe Christmas / Yule was awesome. I had such a good time. It so great to be able to celebrate the holiday with friends and it just be relaxing and low key. I get to (and am actually expected to) wear my monkey pajamas, snack on yummy food and drinks, hang out with friends, and give out fun Christmas presents. What more could you want for a holiday celebration?

Friday night was super low key. We just hang out, hand soup and snacks, and played with the dogs. It was a lot of fun. This year the house was overflowing the people and pets. Steffie and I were there, Rae and PC, Tanya, George and Tianna, and Jen along with Jen's dog Roz (sp?), Rae and PC's dog Porky, and George and Tianna's dog Libby. The dogs took a bit getting use to eachother, but it was good. Roz was so cute feeling the urge to protect Porky from little bitty Libby.

We all got up Saturday morning and had a really fantastic brunch featuring PC's yummy egg bake and an oh so tasty ham cooked by Steffie. After eating we spent the next couple of hours opening presents and watching Hogfather on dvd. Steffie and I gave out kinky stockings which was a lot of fun. They seemed to be a big hit. Steffie was happy that Tanya liked her Aquasaurs and I was happy Rae liked her ceramic fountain pieces. Kinda bummed that PC's shoes didn't fit, but hopefully he'll be able to exchange them for some that do. We were both super happy that Jen's presents were a hit since we didn't know how well they would go over. We just aren't very good at giving "normal" gifts all the time. And we got some great presents. A giant cupcake cake pan, ice cream cone cupcake pans, silicone baking mats, a new bird feeder for our house, pocket knives, glass icicles for our christmas tree, christmas panties, christmas socks, lots of stocking stuffers including glow in the dark hair barrettes. I know I left some out. There were so many cool things.

It was a LOT of fun. We were all ready to drift off into a food coma by the end of the day, warm and happy in our respective monkey pj's. I wish all holiday get togethers could be as relaxing and enjoyable as this one. Thank you to each and every one of you for a great Christmas. You are all my family, and I can't imagine spending my holidays with anyone else. I love you all.

Tribe Christmas / Yule is tonight!!! I'm super looking forward to haning out at the farm in my monkey pants, warming up with a bowl of soup before opening presents. How many christmas dinners / parties do you get to and actually are expected to wear your pj's to? I can't think of a better group of people to spend a holiday weekend with either. I love Steffie dearly and we have the best friends ever.

We ended up with two huge bags of presents. We combined our christmas shopping so we could get a good gift for everyone, but some of the boxes are WAY bigger than I remember. I thought I'd fit them all in one big box for transport, but that so didn't happen. Then we have a big bag of food (ham, cornbread, grits, cookies, and sweet potato pie). Plus our clothes for the weekend too.

Tanya and I both have to work on Sunday, so we decided to carpool down to Le Center. Let's cross our fingers and hope that we can fit all of our combined stuff in one of our cars. lol

Here's a great night with friends. I hope everyone else has a merry christmas, a happy winter solstice, and a safe weekend with all the incoming snow to arrive tomorrow.


P.S. *hugs* Welcome to the tribe Jenn!

Thanksgiving went pretty well this year. I worked from 5am to 10am Thanksgiving morning and then we headed straight down to Steffie's mom and dad's place.

Mmmm ... Steffie's mom made dressing and the yummy jello dessert I liked so much last year. It was all very tasty. After eating we chatted with everyone there for a while. I got to meet another of Steffie's sisters, Traci, and her husband and son. There are two more sisters I haven't met yet, Amanda and Trisha. Hopefully I'll get to meet them at the next family holiday or get together. I got to meet Karen's little girl too. Last time I saw Karen she was still pregnant. Lots of people there. It was really nice. Everyone was really friendly.

Steffie's family likes to do card games and board games after the holiday dinner. I learned two new games while I was there. We played a card game called Five Crowns that is very similar to Phase 10 if you've ever played that. There are 13 rounds and each round a different card is wild. Your goal is to eliminate as many of your cards as you can by grouping them in at the least groups of 3 such as three 7's and a run of hearts 3, 4, and 5. If you get to eliminate all of your cards your score for the round is zero. Any you don't eliminate you count up the points remaining and that is your score. Whoever has the lowest score at the end of the last round ends. The other game I played for the first time was RISK the board game. I've played a couple times on the computer, but I'd never played the board game. Steffie and her dad and sister and neice and nephew played, and they were all really patient about showing me how to play. I didn't do horribly either. I wasn't the first to go out, so I was happy. And Steffie conquered the world. *giggles* It was lots of fun.

We found out that Steffie's other sister Trisha will be down for Christmas later this month, but it happens to be the same weekend that we are having our tribe christmas. So, we won't be down for it. We'll have to make sure to go down and visit next time she's down this way or maybe make a trip to Chicago sometime to visit.

After we finished the risk game and chatted a bit more, we headed over to Cass and William's for the night. I was sooo sleepy. I had been up since fourish that morning. It was a really good day though. The next day, Friday, Cass invited Tori over and we played hours and hours of Dungeons and Dragons. I got to play a half elf warlock. She has awesome powers too! I didn't my troop killed or myself killed, and I did manage to help out the other players with my characters powers. It was lots of fun.

Another super late night for me Friday night. We didn't get into bed til after 1:00 am. Saturday we got up and had breakfast with Cass and William, did a bit of shopping (I got Steffie some cute ruffly panties at Torrid), and headed home just in time to watch White Christmas on tv. It was a very very good holiday weekend.

Sunday afternoons/evenings should be shared with friends and family. Sundays growing up were always the days where we slept in til lunch and then went out to my grandmother's to spend the afternoon with all my aunts and uncles and cousins. We played and caught up on the week and made plans as a family before sharing the evening meal. It was out together day. It was our way as a family to stay close and connected.

Today I miss that. My younger cousin had a bridal shower today, and all of the family was there for her except me. We two have never been close, but she's family. It's an important event, and I missed it. I talked to my grandmother on Friday during the day, and I realized that I hadn't talked to her in about a month. That never use to happen. Granddaddy's birthday is next week too. It will be the second birthday without him. I worry about her. She's there in the house by herself all the time except when one of the family stops by or she goes to the doctor's office or something like that. I can only imagine she must get lonely. I miss them all this weekend more than normal.

And I hate coming home alone on the weekends I spend in Des Moines. I know it won't be too much longer, but I still don't like it. It just seems paricularly awful to have to do this weekend. I like my alone time. I need it on a basic level every now and then or I'll go crazy. But it's so nice to have someone to come home to. Even if you aren'ty in the same room or doing the same thing, it's nice knowing someone is around. I'm even alone in the whole house today. The neighbors are gone. It's too quiet, and I ran out of things to do very quickly.

Just felt like whining for a moment, and now I'm done. Nothing I can do to change things at the moment, so no use in whining too much about it. It feels good though for just a moment.

Few things to talk about in this entry ...

1. The doctor said that my arm isn't broken! Woo-hoo! That's a good thing. Severe sprain, but that's way better than broken. It's been two weeks, and I still don't have complete use of it, but it's gotten a lot better over the last few days. Here's to hoping it's completely healed by this time next week.

2. I noticed that my name was written under the wrong team in the PTO book at work and emailed the scheduling group to find out why. They switched me over into my own team and approved my PTO for this past Sunday. That was awesome because it let me go to Steffie's as planned for the dinner discussion on Saturday. I actually went down on Thursday after work and stayed the rest of the week.

3. I got to go to the DADG dinner discussion with Steffie, Rae, Porkchop, and Tanya. It was a lot of fun. The discussion was on Spirituality and its place in the BDSM lifestyle. Very interesting. We went to the play party after and that was fun overall too. Tanya and I tried a double scene together which didn't go all that well ... eh, but live and learn. Now we know. It was really loud in the house with lots of people talking nearby. Plus, it is kinda distracting all by itself to be tied almost face to face with someone else. I'm not easily distacted and I was wearing a blindfold, but it was still really hard to stay focused. I enjoyed the experience, but it wasn't what I was expecting. I would try something similar again definitely just to see if it worked out the same or different. For now it's in my 'Maybe' list of things I enjoy doing.

4. We had plans to play later back at Steffie's. Unfortunately that didn't happen as planned. *pouts prettily* I was looking forward to testing out my emerging toppiness with Rae and Steffie. It's a surprisingly fun and exciting thought! *never thought those words would flit through my mind* Definitely will have to make sure that happens sometime soon.

5. Steffie is coming down on Thursday because she has time off of work on Friday. Two whole days with nothing specific planned except for swinging by Heather's at some point (reminds self to e-mail Heather about what time works best) for corsety stuffage.

So yeah, overall, good week / weekend. No complaints at all.

I had almost decided not to do this this year because I always seem disappointed with new years resolutions. Then I realized, there are some important things that I want to get done this year or that I want to continue. What better way to cement those than post them on my journal.

1. I want lose weight. On surface, this may seem like the pettiest of resolutions, but it is something that's important to me and something that I've struggled with for years. I don't want to be skinny. I don't think I would make a very attractive skinny girl, and I've never really wanted to be waif thin. I would be completely content and estatic with a size 12. I could walk into any store, anywhere and find the outfit I want in my size if I could wear a 12. And honestly, I'd be damn happy at a 14. The key is that I want to lose weight to be at a healthy, reasonable size that I can be completely happy with.

2. I want to gain a stronger semblance of financial stability. I'm on my way to doing this now. I finally have a full time, permanent job with benefits. I don't have to worry about coming up with huge amounts of money out of pocket for health care and prescriptions. That is a good thing. Those are extremely expensive without any insurance. I can finally start to slowly but surely pay off the bills that racked up after the wedding that wasn't and right after getting laid off. I would be so happy to get my bills down to be only the basic rent plus utilities and my credit card payment. It would take a lot of stress out of my life.

3. I want to try something new every month. I don't care what this something is. It could be at work, but it would be much more fun to do that something new in my personal life with my friends or with my girlfriend. There are a ton of things I want to explore in the lifestyle arena that I haven't had the chance to or I've only experienced a taste of. I have a feeling my friends and Steffie will be happy to help me do that.

4. I want to continue to explore more this new-found switchy side that I've discovered. It's been fun so far, and I'm anxious to see where it goes and how far I can take it. I still don't think I could do the pain play portion of it, but there is a rush to the power exchange and sensation play that I am really enjoying. Wow, I never thought those words would flit through my head, but now that they are ... it's awesome.

5. I want to have a less chaotic summer than last year! *yeah right ... I saw that now... but ask me come July if it actually ends up that way*. More time for me, for Steffie and I, and for close friends. Less running around like a crazy woman with a million things going on at once.

6. I want to be happy with me, with my life, with my relationships. I'm feeling that I'm well on my way to doing that. I'm at a place where aside from the weight thing and a few other pretty insignificant things, I'm happy with myself. Much happier than I have been in the past. I think my little tribe of self-made family has had a lot to do with that. They accept me for me and seem to love me just the way I am faults and all. My life is starting to shape up. Here's to hoping it stays on that course. Steffie makes me incredibly happy. She's good for me. She challenges me to want more, ask for more, *grins* sometimes take more out of life. I want to be a better and happier person when I'm around her. I want to strive to make her just as happy as she does me.


So, there are my New Years resolutions. We'll see how they go. I'm hopeful that at the end of the year I can say I've upheld and/or achieved these goals.

So, I made it home to Alabama for the Christmas holidays on Saturday before Christmas. It was a very good start to my trip that morning before I left Minnesota (see Body Art post), and made better by there being no delays to my flight. That's always a good thing. I made to Atlanta by 8:00pm and had my luggage and was on my way to the car by 8:49pm. If you've ever flown through Atlanta airport, you know that's super fast to be in and out of the airport there!

Mama and I had our prerequisite argument on the way home, but it wasn't as bad as it sometimes is. I let her bitch about what she didn't like and then put my foot down on the subject. I can't let her live my life for me. I'm happy and healthy. I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm not being hurt. That's all that should matter to her. It ended there, and didn't resurface. Yay!

Sunday was pretty low key. Mama drug me along to church with her. UGH. I didn't enjoy that part. The sunday school teacher told total lies and no one called him on it! He stood up there and said that no religion other than Christianity sings in praise of their god. That's so not true! I can't think of any religion that doesn't include some form of song. That bugged me. Then the sermon started, and the preacher yelled for an hour straight almost. Really, I don't need to be yelled at to get the message. I much prefer not to be yelled at. When it happens I tend to just zone out whatever is being said until the volume drops. My ears were ringing half way through. I was not impressed. But Mama wanted me to go, so I did. I won't go back there. After we took grandmother a couple of toquitos and a side salad for lunch and hung out for a while.

Christmas Eve we went back out to grandmother's for the family christmas. It was good to see everyone, but it was odd having Christmas without granddaddy. It's our first year without him, and it's just not the same. No one wanted to sit in his chair at the table. I felt like I wanted to set a place for him even though he's not with us anymore physically. Grandmother had me a copy of a picture made of her and granddaddy the day they were married as part of my christmas present from her. It's a beautiful picture. They look so happy! That's how I'd rather remember my grandfather than how he was last year, too weak and sick to really enjoy the holiday at all. We did anonymous gifts this year despite some of our protests. Poor Daddy got his gift stolen from him three times! I didn't like that part of the game. I don't think someone should be able to take a gift from someone else, or if they can, you should only be able to take a gift from each person once. I felt bad for him. And Grandmother ended up with lotions she couldn't use. I swapped with her, and since I couldn't use them either, I ended up swapping again with someone else. I just wanted to be sure grandmother got something she could use. I ended up with this cool little gadget that vacuum seals ziploc type bags. Daddy got a screwdriver set. Mama got a gift certificate to somewhere. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't our normal christmas.

After we got home from Grandmother's christmas eve, we opened our presents at home. Mama and Daddy got me too much! They had sent me money to buy clothes, but they bought lots of stuff too. I worry that they spend too much for stuff like that. I got an aircompressor for my car, a car cover since I have to leave my car outside the garage, an electric ice scraper, a super warm fuzzy blanket, some cool craft scissors, and lots of other little things and candy. Daddy liked his atomic clock/ indoor-outdoor thermometer thingie, but we couldn't get it to register the outside temp. I think he's gonna take it back and exchange it to see if he can get a different one to work. Mama liked her dress and jacket set. I'm glad about that. I never know what to get her or if she's gonna like it.

Christmas day we just chilled out, slept late, and watched chirstmas shows on tv together until the evening. I took Daddy to opening night at the movie theater to see the new Alien vs. Predator. He never goes to the movies alone, and he and mama tend to like different sorts of movies. Plus she doesn't like going to anywhere but the drive in. She doesn't like being around all those people in the theater. I try to get him out of the house to at least one movie when I'm home. It was a good movie. We both liked it. The logic was a little off in some places, but that's most movies. It was really cool overall.

I missed having Steffie with me. I would have loved to have had her there with me for Christmas. But only a few more days and I'll get to see her again. On my way home today. My flight was suppose to leave at 4:30 Eastern time, but the flight is delayed. No surprise that considering it's the day after Christmas. I gave Tanya a call to let her know the flight is delayed and that I'm suppose to be in MSP at about 7:00pm. I had a good time in Bama for Christmas, but going home is good too.

This is the first time I've gotten the chance to get online and post to my journal in a bit, so there will be a couple posts coming tonight.

Tribe Christmas was so much fun!

I rushed home after work on Friday, gathered up all the stockings and homemade goodies and little presents, and headed out again with Steffie to the farm. When I got there, I started work on my two dishes because I had to work late and don't have a stove (grrs). I made mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes .... My sweet potatoes didn't quite make it though. I was carrying the bowl to the table and it slipped. Slow motion now..... the bowl crashes into the floor and EXPLODES.... sweet potatoes fly everywhere (on my shoes, all over the floor, all the way across the table to hit Porkchop and up into the air to land on the ceiling in the dining room!z). I am responsible for the potato stains on Rae and Porkchop's ceiling. LOL I felt so bad. At least I saved the regular potatoes. We had a hugely tasty dinner minus the sweet potatoes, plus very yummy desserts later in the evening.

We open!ed LOTS of presents! I had fun planning and making all of my personalized christmas stockings for everyone. Porkchop got a pirate boot, Tanya got a purple Victorian boot, Rae got a be-glittered ice skate, Steffie got a pink ballerina slipper, and Tianna a bare foot stocking with blue painted toes and an ankle bracelet. Steffie was so cute in her footie PJ's too! I think we all got lots of cool presents. I know I did. Thank you all! *sends hugs all around*

We had a bonfire too. It seemed very fitting for the Solstice/Yule/Christmas. Warm and toasty way to usher in a new year free and clear of some of the not so great memories of the last one. I burned my marriage license ... it was a bittersweet moment. One of those where you pause and think of what might have been had things happened differently... but only a moment because things didn't happen that way and you know its a good time to press forward and focus on what is here and now and good. I do have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of good things going on in my life right now. I'm happy, and I honestly, despite still having my moments of anger and hurt over what happened between me and Michael, can't be too bitter about the whole thing. I'm very happy with Stephanie, and he seems to be happy with his new girlfriend. I suppose it has worked out the best for both of us.

Mmmm.... and to end the night..... yeah, we had fun. *giggles* I do wish I could shrink the distance between Des Moines and the Twin Cities so it could happen more often. :-D

It was an excellent way to celebrate the holidays with my best friends and girlfriend. I can't see anything that could possibly have made it better. Well, except maybe one ... I was pretty psyched about the idea of getting to co-top a scene Steffie. Rae would be great to get to play with. She wouldn't mind me giggling. I couldn't ever be the big bad Domme (*laughs silently at the thought*). I never thought I would ever have that idea pop through my mind, but it did ... and it was a fun thought... and I totally think it will happen eventually. And really that would have just been a bonus to the holiday fun. It's food for thought for a later date.

I had a great Thanksgiving this year, one of the best I've had in years. I carpooled with Rae and Porkchop down to Iowa on Thursday morning and met up with Steffie along the way.

First, I got to go to Thanksgiving lunch with Steffie to her parents' place. Her mom is really nice, and her dad is so funny! He reminds me of my dad and grandfather. I got to meet one of her sisters and three of her brothers and five neices and nephews! And that wasn't even all of the family. Wow.

Every conceivable dessert and Thanksgiving foods, watching the dog show on tv, talking, kids playing downstairs ... it reminded me of the best things about home. The stories made me think of granddaddy. I miss him. It's hard to imagine a holiday back home without him, and it was really nice to have random things remind me of him on Thanksgiving so far away from my family. It made me feel like he was close to me and maybe thinking of me too.

I hope Steffie's family liked me as much as I like all of them. I did get and open invite to come back anytime. I'll take that as a good sign. :-D

After we left her parents' house, Steffie and I went back to her place and had Thanksgiving dinner with Cass and William, Brenda, Porkchop and Rae, and Marquise, Buster, and Porky. I loved being able to spend the evening with my friends. I wish Tanya had been able to be with us. That would have made it perfect.

I am very thankful for my friends new and old who have stood by me through some very rough spots in the past year and not been afraid to call me a knucklehead when it was deserved. I'm always thankful for my family. Despite our many differences, I've never doubted that they love me and want to see me happy. I'm thankful to God for all that I have, for all who I love, and for surrounding me with people who love me back.

Doors have closed, but others have opened. I'm thankful I've had the courage and good friends to gently prod me to be brave enough to step over the threshold. I'm looking forward to the next year with an open heart and mind, with optimism that it will be a good year for everyone.